Oh god help me. It's 5am, I have not slept (thanks to nine solid hours of ambien improved sleep last night and a cup of coffee at 4pm yesterday) and as some weird companionship to my insomnia, I have the tv on in the other room. I'm not really listening to it, but in the last 12 minutes the running infomercial has penetrated my subconscious and has set of a string of synaptic activity going that almost has me running to my wallet to pull out my credit card.
What is it for? What could possible cause me to consider, in my current financially depressed state, 4 easy monthly payments of only 29.99?
A collection of 70's music.
Yes. I am going all pavlov over Mac Davis and Cher.
That's the night that the lights went out in Georgia.
Billy, don't be a hero.
Whoa ho ho it's magic.
Love will keep us together.
Gypsies, tramps and thieves.
We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun.
They called him Wildfire.
They called him Wii eye eye eye eye eye wi-iiild fire....
This collection is not sold in stores.
Hurry.
Monday, November 28, 2005
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
frequent flyer
My son just called. He's getting on his plane to come visit for Thanksgiving, and wanted to remind me that I shouldn't call him in the meanwhile because his phone's off. I really hadn't intended to. I'm pretty sure I can save whatever burning questions I have for him for 2 more hours. Anyway, his call reminded me that I have to go to the airport early to trade in an old, unused ticket for a new one for his trip over Christmas. The kids of divorce travel a lot. There have been summers when he's boarded 12 different planes...
Thinking about *that* reminded me of a story from about 5 years ago. Zack would have been 10 and was still living with me. We were headed home from my mom's house, and when we sat down on the plane (carry-ons full of chicken soup and brisket, no doubt) the guy sitting next to Zack starts telling him that we're going to have a movie, and that the screen is the little box in the overhead that pops out and isn't that cool? Zack, who at this point was flying alone at least once a month to New Mexico to visit his father and who was therefore way too jaded for a 10 year old, elbows me and says, "He thinks I'm stupid." Then the guy says "hey they'll show you the cockpit if you ask after the flight, it's pretty cool..." and Zack rolls his eyes at me. I'm not sure what maternal instinct it was, but I tried to defend him by showing off for him. I said, somewhat sophisticatedly, "Actually, he probably has more frequent flyer miles than you do." The guy said, "I doubt it. I'm a pilot."
D'oh.
Thinking about *that* reminded me of a story from about 5 years ago. Zack would have been 10 and was still living with me. We were headed home from my mom's house, and when we sat down on the plane (carry-ons full of chicken soup and brisket, no doubt) the guy sitting next to Zack starts telling him that we're going to have a movie, and that the screen is the little box in the overhead that pops out and isn't that cool? Zack, who at this point was flying alone at least once a month to New Mexico to visit his father and who was therefore way too jaded for a 10 year old, elbows me and says, "He thinks I'm stupid." Then the guy says "hey they'll show you the cockpit if you ask after the flight, it's pretty cool..." and Zack rolls his eyes at me. I'm not sure what maternal instinct it was, but I tried to defend him by showing off for him. I said, somewhat sophisticatedly, "Actually, he probably has more frequent flyer miles than you do." The guy said, "I doubt it. I'm a pilot."
D'oh.
technology overkill
That's it. I quit. I refuse to participate in a society that produces a toothbrush with an onboard computer chip. It's DENTAL FREAKIN' HYGIENE FOLKS! It's not rocket science!!! The hardest part of dental hygiene is remembering how to spell "hygiene" for gods sake!
Brush. Up down up down up down. Don't forget the teeth in back. Floss. Use toothpaste with fluoride. (Especially now that we drink bottled water...) When your toothbrush bristles look more like a troll doll than a toothbrush, buy a new one. End of story.
What in that list could possibly require a computer?
Next thing you know they'll be putting batteries into four-bladed disposable razors...
Brush. Up down up down up down. Don't forget the teeth in back. Floss. Use toothpaste with fluoride. (Especially now that we drink bottled water...) When your toothbrush bristles look more like a troll doll than a toothbrush, buy a new one. End of story.
What in that list could possibly require a computer?
Next thing you know they'll be putting batteries into four-bladed disposable razors...
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